Tail Report: Claudia Sampedro

I'm a little late on the news (as usual), but Reggie Bush is/was all up in this like a play action fake. Nucca's my hero. I might draft him in the first round of my fantasy drafts this September, just because.

Ah, the perks of playing professional football in Miami. New York, Wisconsin, and Massachusetts teams might get the championship rings, but Florida teams get delicious Cuban mamis. I'd call that a serious "push".

Don't Get it Twisted

Kim Kardashian is vapid at best, outright conniving and ruthless in the quest of her own self-promotion at worst. She used a special needs boy by the name of Kris Humphries, extracting his pride from him through contrived "reality" programming (actually, "programmed reality" is the best and most succinct way of describing her E! show), all for ratings and expensive wedding gifts, and then 72 days later tossed away the empty shell of his public persona like a Carl's Jr. cup out the window of a Mercedes doing 80 on the PCH.

She sought pop stardom, despite the fact that she wouldn't make it past an American Idol tryout without help from her name and/or her mama's machinations. And when it became vividly evident—via a music video that would make Rebecca Black cringe—this pursuit was destined to end in failure, she attempted to bury the body as far away from the media's eye as possible.

Her character has become the caged cart at a driving range, with a line of comedians and Twitter hacks teeing off every time she passes. While Kim’s “storybook” marriage was ending amid a storm of bad press and floundering public opinion, Reggie Bush—the more miserable party at the onset of their breakup years ago—was experiencing a rejuvenation of his career in Miami, enjoying an autumn of entirely positive press for the first time since coming to the NFL. Not surprisingly, shortly thereafter it “leaked” from sources “close to Kim” that she still longed for the two to reunite. And, not surprisingly, Bush was publicly silent in regards to these rumors, keeping himself far away from the publicity vampire before she could feed off of him once again (this time in the thick night air of South Beach).

And yet, despite all of this…

Yup, I’d still hit. I may even wife it, for like…a weekend. Maybe two. Scream at me.

"You remind me of a girl, that I, once knew..."

So you're not quite over your ex, but she's moved on (several times); what's a guy to do?

Well, in the words of Christopher Titus, "I'm going to find a girl who looks just like you, and I'm gonna fuck her just to prove I DON'T NEED YOU!"

From omg!:

Remember that seemingly ubiquitous Old Navy ad featuring a woman who bore more than a passing resemblance to Kardashian? Well, her name is Melissa Molinaro. She's a singer/actress. And she is currently dating Reggie Bush, who in addition to being Kardashian's ex-boyfriend is also a halfback on the New Orleans Saints.

Bush and Molinaro have been dating for a few months, according to TMZ. They apparently met about two years ago, but didn't start dating until last summer, becoming "official" by Christmas.

I feel for Reggie—I do. He's had to watch Kim date Miles Austin and god-knows whoever else—all in front of cameras for her hit reality TV show—while dealing with a scandal from his college days that has resulted in the loss of his Heisman and one of his alma mater's national championships. And now Kim has announced her engagement to another pro athlete; one who, for all intents and purposes, appears to be mentally disabled (at least that's my theory about Kris Humphries; seriously, listen to him talk and tell me I'm wrong).

So to say the last year has been tough on him is fair, especially coming off the high of winning the Super Bowl in February 2010. But how long will it take before he's finally over Kim, and in the process gets over this new girl? My guess is once the NFL lockout ends, we hear an announcement that these two lovebirds are taking a break.

Then he'll have to find a girl who kind of looks like the girl who kind of looks like Kim.

Revisionist History

The BCS has announced that they have will strip USC of their 2004 National Championship, due to the NCAA's ruling that Reggie Bush was ineligible that season due to rule violations. And, given the relative impotence of UCLA teams over the last decade, this is some of the best news a Bruins fan like myself has heard in quite some time.

From ESPN Los Angeles:

The BCS ruling vacated the results of the 2005 Orange Bowl -- the national title game for 2004 -- as well as the Trojans participation in the 2006 Rose Bowl, in which USC lost to Texas in the championship game.

As a result of the BCS's Presidential Oversight Committee ruling, there will be no BCS national champion in the record book for the 2004-05 season.

"The BCS arrangement crowns a national champion, and the BCS games are showcase events for postseason football," BCS Executive Director Bill Hancock said in a statement. "One of the best ways of ensuring that they remain so is for us to foster full compliance with NCAA rules. Accordingly, in keeping with the NCAA's recent action, USC's appearances are being vacated.

K Lew (a proud USC grad) has been suspiciously quiet ever since news of this scandal first broke. Hmmm...