Sausage Party

I like where her head's at. And judging by the smile on her co-anchor's face, her mind was way ahead of that.

Call me, ladies.

F.O.H.: iPad Case by Fleshlight

From Gizmodo:

The iPad's a darn attractive gadget, but that 30-pin connector ain't made for love. That's why this Fleshlight-holding iPad case concept caught our eye. Imagine all the things you could pretend to have sex with! And it turns out, it's not just some crazy, er, pipe dream. It, or something like it, is coming soon.

Customer Appreciation

Xmas is over, but if you're looking for a gift for me, well... Give me a ticket to wherever this factory is (no need to actually buy me the drawers).

Sizzlin' Sheets

This may be the best thing to happen to sex since the invention of Sasha Grey. Ladies and gentlemen, I present you with: BACON. FLAVORED. LUBE.

Yes, this is real. No, you're not dreaming. Yes, I can wait a few minutes while you recover.

...

......

.........

All good?

Okay. Now a few words from the creators of this masterpiece in engineering.

Before you start giving meat-flavored massages, we have one small admission to make - baconlube began as an elaborate April Fool's prank and was never intended to be a real product. But when the joke ended, the emails kept coming. People harassed us via email, in public and in highly inappropriate ways (thanks for that). The waiting list grew to over 3,000 people. Expectations were built.

So who's responsible for this highly anticipated creation actually coming to life? You are, that's who. You and an intern named Martin actually, who sacrificed and offended his taste buds in the name of science on sample after failed sample before this really did taste like bacon.

We'll make no judgments about why you want this or what you want to do with it, but baconlube is here and it's real for a limited time. Keep It Sizzlin'.

And yes, I've ordered a bottle. If any ladies would like to help me do some product testing, hit me on Twitter.

That Voodoo That You Do

I'm sure you've heard about this by now. Been too busy to post anything before now, though.

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

Sidenote: Anyone else think the owner's "private conversation" with the receptionist is going to involve a bottle of wine, some soft music, and the sentence "So how badly do you want to keep your job?"

TJ with the assist.

Drill Baby, Drill

Glen Rice, you will heretofore be known as "That Nucca".

From Deadspin:

The National Enquirer grabbed some details from the upcoming Joe McGinniss Sarah Palin book, and this chunk is too delightful not to share with you immediately. Apparently Palin had a fling with former Heat/Hornet/Laker Glen Rice while he was in college and while she was a sports reporter in Alaska, all the way back in 1987. Rice confirms it in the book.

This is just the type of thing I needed to brighten my hump day.

The Enquirer report goes on to mention that Palin had a "fetish for black men at the time". At the time? Come on now, Sarah. You know the deal: Once you go black, you never go back. (Call me.)

Taste the Rainbow

Oh. My. Damned.

Goddamn I wish they actually let companies air ads like this. I'd carry a family-size bag of Skittles around just to toss them on chicks.

And, while we're at it, can we replace "making it rain" with "sharing the rainbow"? I may not have 10 Gs to throw on a stripper, but I'll gladly spend $50 to spray her up with Skittles.


Skittles - Newlyweds - Dir. Cousins [Not affiliated with Wrigley or Skittles. Contains explicit content not suitable for minors] from Cousins on Vimeo.

Spotted on the T.I.T.S. Blog.

Rooftops and Invitations

This is a little old, as the news first broke over the past weekend. But since The Hero is a USC alum, I figured I'd give his alma mater it's full moment of "glory".

Photos (see below) surfaced of a member of USC's Kappa Sigma frat and a female (I don't think it's been stated whether or not she's also a USC student) doing God's work on the rooftop of an academic building while a philanthropic event took place in the quad below. The stunt was, of course, incredibly stupid. But...I can't lie, it's kind of pimp, too. This guy's going to have to rely on those pimping skills, though, as it's looking like he may get booted from the university (he's already been suspended from the fraternity).

I'll tell you what else: I really miss Cali girls.

(photos via T.I.T.S. blog)

The story even got the Taiwanese animation treatment given to Tiger Woods and numerous other pop culture moments over the past year.

Respect My Gangsta: Silvio Berlusconi

The Italian Prime Minister's been making headlines recently for his alleged trysts with a 17 year old prostitute. But despite being surrounded by that kind of scandalous air, he's doing anything but shying away from critics' arrows. In fact, at a press conference yesterday on the island of Lampedusa, the 74 year old pimping-expert threw a shot across their bow.

From The Daily Mail:

...at a press conference, he found time to joke with local women.

The prime minister, who faces an allegation of under-age sex with a prostitute told them: "According to a survey, when asked if they would like to have sex with me, 30 percent said, 'Yes', while the other 70 percent replied, 'What, again?'."

Play on, playa...

Where the Magic Happens

Good stuff from Danny Pudi and the folks at FoD.

Where the Magic Happens with Danny Pudi from Danny Pudi